¡Qué médico más malo!

poli malo

A veces cuando llevo la placa de médico, como en las películas de Hollywood donde en los interrogatorios existe la figura del poli bueno y poli malo, a mi también me toca representar el papel de malo.

En ocasiones mi plató se llena de pacientes policonsultadores, de espíritu hipocondriaco, amantes de las cuatro paredes del consultorio, con un perenne pensamiento que les atormenta y aleja de la realidad, un ¿no me pasará algo? gobierna su día. Hacen de una segunda opinión su obsesión y acuden a urgencias buscando una respuesta que les de la razón para poder justificar la supuesta falta de atención de su médico de familia. Son capaces de cambiar el título de mi película y transformar el Centro de Urgencias en un «abierto 24 horas, no importa la hora ni el motivo, estamos para escucharles».

Recuerdo con nostalgia los guiones de consulta en atención primaria, como mis palabras atravesaban como balas sus argumentos, con negativas que parecían escritas en mi mesa como graffitis en un muro.

– No necesita más pruebas.

– No precisa interconsulta con otro especialista.

– No le puedo recetar más, ya se llevó su tratamiento crónico.

– No le prescribo antibióticos, es un cuadro viral.

– No le vuelvo a hacer recetas de medicamentos si los saca de la farmacia sin prescripción facultativa.

– No le puedo recetar como pensionista si no lo es.

– Y por supuesto, no insista, no le puedo hacer recetas para su perro.

Me doy cuenta que no se puede escapar de nuestros demonios y en urgencias me toca repetir alguna negativa, adaptando mi guion al contexto.

– Esto no es una urgencia.

– ¿Por qué no fue a su médico de familia?

– Si lo tiene desde hace meses, puede pedir cita en su centro de salud.

– No le puedo pinchar nada para quitarle un catarro.

– No puede venir en la madrugada a hacerse una cura porque no tuvo tiempo durante el día.

Pues definitivamente, a veces me toca ser el malo de la película, el que le dice a los pacientes lo que no quieren oír, aquel que crea unfollowers en twitter  y disminuye las listas de espera en consulta. Y lo reivindico porque quien quiera caer bien a todo el mundo mejor que se dedique a la política donde una sonrisa forzada y palabras escritas por un guionista en tercera persona son más valiosas que la verdad.

Sin lugar a dudas no es fácil interpretar este papel, lo sencillo es ceder en todo y despachar satisfecho al usuario, pero a veces me toca sacar mandíbula, teñirme el pelo y ser el Javier Bardem de 007.

Espero no terminar como él en la película, y poder seguir disfrutando de este cine.

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  352. Today, I went to the beach front with my kids. I found a sea shell and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said «You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.» She placed the shell to her ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear. She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is completely off topic but I had to tell someone!

  353. Today, I went to the beach front with my children. I found a sea shell and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said «You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.» She placed the shell to her ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear. She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is entirely off topic but I had to tell someone!

  354. Hi! I know this is kinda off topic but I was wondering if you knew where I could locate a captcha plugin for my comment form? I’m using the same blog platform as yours and I’m having difficulty finding one? Thanks a lot!

  355. Hey there would you mind letting me know which webhost you’re utilizing? I’ve loaded your blog in 3 completely different web browsers and I must say this blog loads a lot quicker then most. Can you suggest a good internet hosting provider at a fair price? Thanks, I appreciate it!

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  361. Hey! I know this is somewhat off topic but I was wondering which blog platform are you using for this site? I’m getting fed up of WordPress because I’ve had problems with hackers and I’m looking at options for another platform. I would be fantastic if you could point me in the direction of a good platform.

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  367. Hey I know this is off topic but I was wondering if you knew of any widgets I could add to my blog that automatically tweet my newest twitter updates. I’ve been looking for a plug-in like this for quite some time and was hoping maybe you would have some experience with something like this. Please let me know if you run into anything. I truly enjoy reading your blog and I look forward to your new updates.

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  383. My programmer is trying to persuade me to move to .net from PHP. I have always disliked the idea because of the costs. But he’s tryiong none the less. I’ve been using Movable-type on several websites for about a year and am concerned about switching to another platform. I have heard good things about blogengine.net. Is there a way I can import all my wordpress posts into it? Any help would be greatly appreciated!

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  393. Awesome blog! Is your theme custom made or did you download it from somewhere? A theme like yours with a few simple tweeks would really make my blog jump out. Please let me know where you got your theme. Thanks

  394. I know this if off topic but I’m looking into starting my own blog and was curious what all is needed to get setup? I’m assuming having a blog like yours would cost a pretty penny? I’m not very web smart so I’m not 100% positive. Any tips or advice would be greatly appreciated. Cheers

  395. My coder is trying to convince me to move to .net from PHP. I have always disliked the idea because of the expenses. But he’s tryiong none the less. I’ve been using Movable-type on numerous websites for about a year and am anxious about switching to another platform. I have heard excellent things about blogengine.net. Is there a way I can import all my wordpress content into it? Any kind of help would be greatly appreciated!

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  399. Hello would you mind sharing which blog platform you’re working with? I’m going to start my own blog soon but I’m having a hard time selecting between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal. The reason I ask is because your design and style seems different then most blogs and I’m looking for something completely unique. P.S My apologies for getting off-topic but I had to ask!

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  404. Hmm is anyone else experiencing problems with the images on this blog loading? I’m trying to determine if its a problem on my end or if it’s the blog. Any responses would be greatly appreciated.

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  413. Hello there! Quick question that’s completely off topic. Do you know how to make your site mobile friendly? My site looks weird when viewing from my iphone. I’m trying to find a theme or plugin that might be able to resolve this problem. If you have any suggestions, please share. Cheers!

  414. Wow that was strange. I just wrote an extremely long comment but after I clicked submit my comment didn’t show up. Grrrr… well I’m not writing all that over again. Anyways, just wanted to say great blog!

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  423. I’m curious to find out what blog platform you’re working with? I’m experiencing some minor security problems with my latest blog and I’d like to find something more risk-free. Do you have any recommendations?

  424. Hello this is kind of of off topic but I was wanting to know if blogs use WYSIWYG editors or if you have to manually code with HTML. I’m starting a blog soon but have no coding knowledge so I wanted to get guidance from someone with experience. Any help would be greatly appreciated!

  425. Today, while I was at work, my sister stole my iPad and tested to see if it can survive a twenty five foot drop, just so she can be a youtube sensation. My iPad is now destroyed and she has 83 views. I know this is completely off topic but I had to share it with someone!

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  427. Yesterday, while I was at work, my sister stole my iPad and tested to see if it can survive a 30 foot drop, just so she can be a youtube sensation. My iPad is now destroyed and she has 83 views. I know this is totally off topic but I had to share it with someone!

  428. Hey! I understand this is kind of off-topic but I had to ask. Does running a well-established blog like yours take a massive amount work? I am completely new to running a blog but I do write in my diary daily. I’d like to start a blog so I will be able to share my experience and feelings online. Please let me know if you have any kind of suggestions or tips for new aspiring bloggers. Thankyou!

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  462. Hey there! I know this is kinda off topic but I was wondering which blog platform are you using for this site? I’m getting sick and tired of WordPress because I’ve had problems with hackers and I’m looking at alternatives for another platform. I would be awesome if you could point me in the direction of a good platform.

  463. I know this if off topic but I’m looking into starting my own blog and was wondering what all is needed to get set up? I’m assuming having a blog like yours would cost a pretty penny? I’m not very internet smart so I’m not 100% positive. Any suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated. Many thanks

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  471. Hey! I realize this is sort of off-topic but I had to ask. Does operating a well-established blog such as yours take a large amount of work? I am brand new to writing a blog but I do write in my journal on a daily basis. I’d like to start a blog so I can share my experience and feelings online. Please let me know if you have any ideas or tips for brand new aspiring blog owners. Appreciate it!

  472. Hello, I think your blog might be having browser compatibility issues. When I look at your blog in Safari, it looks fine but when opening in Internet Explorer, it has some overlapping. I just wanted to give you a quick heads up! Other then that, fantastic blog!

  473. Wow that was unusual. I just wrote an incredibly long comment but after I clicked submit my comment didn’t appear. Grrrr… well I’m not writing all that over again. Anyways, just wanted to say great blog!

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  479. I’m curious to find out what blog platform you happen to be using? I’m experiencing some minor security issues with my latest site and I would like to find something more secure. Do you have any solutions?

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  486. Hello there! Do you know if they make any plugins to safeguard against hackers? I’m kinda paranoid about losing everything I’ve worked hard on. Any recommendations?

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  491. Hey I know this is off topic but I was wondering if you knew of any widgets I could add to my blog that automatically tweet my newest twitter updates. I’ve been looking for a plug-in like this for quite some time and was hoping maybe you would have some experience with something like this. Please let me know if you run into anything. I truly enjoy reading your blog and I look forward to your new updates.

  492. Today, I went to the beach with my kids. I found a sea shell and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said «You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.» She put the shell to her ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear. She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is totally off topic but I had to tell someone!

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  495. At this time it looks like Expression Engine is the preferred blogging platform available right now. (from what I’ve read) Is that what you’re using on your blog?

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  498. I know this if off topic but I’m looking into starting my own blog and was wondering what all is required to get setup? I’m assuming having a blog like yours would cost a pretty penny? I’m not very web smart so I’m not 100% positive. Any tips or advice would be greatly appreciated. Kudos

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  546. Today, I went to the beach front with my kids. I found a sea shell and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said «You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.» She placed the shell to her ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear. She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is entirely off topic but I had to tell someone!

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  844. Hey I know this is off topic but I was wondering if you knew of any widgets I could add to my blog that automatically tweet my newest twitter updates. I’ve been looking for a plug-in like this for quite some time and was hoping maybe you would have some experience with something like this. Please let me know if you run into anything. I truly enjoy reading your blog and I look forward to your new updates.

  845. I don’t know whether it’s just me or if perhaps everyone else experiencing issues with your website. It appears like some of the written text on your content are running off the screen. Can someone else please provide feedback and let me know if this is happening to them too? This might be a issue with my web browser because I’ve had this happen previously. Cheers

  846. I’m curious to find out what blog platform you happen to be utilizing? I’m having some minor security problems with my latest blog and I’d like to find something more safe. Do you have any suggestions?

  847. Hi would you mind letting me know which hosting company you’re utilizing? I’ve loaded your blog in 3 completely different web browsers and I must say this blog loads a lot faster then most. Can you suggest a good internet hosting provider at a fair price? Thanks, I appreciate it!

  848. I’m not sure exactly why but this blog is loading extremely slow for me. Is anyone else having this problem or is it a issue on my end? I’ll check back later and see if the problem still exists.

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  850. Hey I know this is off topic but I was wondering if you knew of any widgets I could add to my blog that automatically tweet my newest twitter updates. I’ve been looking for a plug-in like this for quite some time and was hoping maybe you would have some experience with something like this. Please let me know if you run into anything. I truly enjoy reading your blog and I look forward to your new updates.

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  855. Hey there! I just wanted to ask if you ever have any issues with hackers? My last blog (wordpress) was hacked and I ended up losing months of hard work due to no backup. Do you have any methods to stop hackers?

  856. Today, I went to the beach with my children. I found a sea shell and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said «You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.» She placed the shell to her ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear. She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is completely off topic but I had to tell someone!

  857. Hmm is anyone else encountering problems with the pictures on this blog loading? I’m trying to figure out if its a problem on my end or if it’s the blog. Any responses would be greatly appreciated.

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  864. I was wondering if you ever thought of changing the page layout of your site? Its very well written; I love what youve got to say. But maybe you could a little more in the way of content so people could connect with it better. Youve got an awful lot of text for only having 1 or two images. Maybe you could space it out better?

  865. Hi there! I know this is somewhat off topic but I was wondering which blog platform are you using for this site? I’m getting tired of WordPress because I’ve had problems with hackers and I’m looking at alternatives for another platform. I would be awesome if you could point me in the direction of a good platform.

  866. When I initially commented I clicked the «Notify me when new comments are added» checkbox and now each time a comment is added I get several e-mails with the same comment. Is there any way you can remove me from that service? Thanks a lot!

  867. We absolutely love your blog and find almost all of your post’s to be just what I’m looking for. Do you offer guest writers to write content in your case? I wouldn’t mind creating a post or elaborating on a lot of the subjects you write regarding here. Again, awesome website!

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  873. Hi! I know this is kind of off topic but I was wondering if you knew where I could locate a captcha plugin for my comment form? I’m using the same blog platform as yours and I’m having difficulty finding one? Thanks a lot!

  874. I have a blog on a custom domain and I only want my Family to be able to see it using a Password using Google’s Blogger!.

  875. Excellent website you have here but I was curious about if you knew of any community forums that cover the same topics discussed in this article? I’d really love to be a part of online community where I can get feedback from other experienced people that share the same interest. If you have any suggestions, please let me know. Thanks!

  876. Currently it seems like Drupal is the preferred blogging platform available right now. (from what I’ve read) Is that what you’re using on your blog?

  877. I know this if off topic but I’m looking into starting my own weblog and was wondering what all is required to get set up? I’m assuming having a blog like yours would cost a pretty penny? I’m not very internet smart so I’m not 100% sure. Any suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated. Cheers

  878. Superb blog! Do you have any tips for aspiring writers? I’m planning to start my own website soon but I’m a little lost on everything. Would you propose starting with a free platform like WordPress or go for a paid option? There are so many options out there that I’m completely confused .. Any recommendations? Many thanks!

  879. Hmm it appears like your website ate my first comment (it was super long) so I guess I’ll just sum it up what I submitted and say, I’m thoroughly enjoying your blog. I as well am an aspiring blog blogger but I’m still new to the whole thing. Do you have any tips and hints for newbie blog writers? I’d really appreciate it.

  880. tem software dice:

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  884. I am really enjoying the theme/design of your web site. Do you ever run into any browser compatibility issues? A number of my blog readers have complained about my website not working correctly in Explorer but looks great in Chrome. Do you have any tips to help fix this issue?

  885. rent storage dice:

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  892. Hi! I just wanted to ask if you ever have any trouble with hackers? My last blog (wordpress) was hacked and I ended up losing a few months of hard work due to no data backup. Do you have any solutions to stop hackers?

  893. I know this if off topic but I’m looking into starting my own weblog and was curious what all is required to get set up? I’m assuming having a blog like yours would cost a pretty penny? I’m not very internet smart so I’m not 100% certain. Any suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated. Appreciate it

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  899. Great blog! Is your theme custom made or did you download it from somewhere? A theme like yours with a few simple adjustements would really make my blog jump out. Please let me know where you got your theme. Kudos

  900. I know this if off topic but I’m looking into starting my own weblog and was wondering what all is required to get setup? I’m assuming having a blog like yours would cost a pretty penny? I’m not very internet savvy so I’m not 100% sure. Any suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated. Kudos