¡Qué médico más malo!

poli malo

A veces cuando llevo la placa de médico, como en las películas de Hollywood donde en los interrogatorios existe la figura del poli bueno y poli malo, a mi también me toca representar el papel de malo.

En ocasiones mi plató se llena de pacientes policonsultadores, de espíritu hipocondriaco, amantes de las cuatro paredes del consultorio, con un perenne pensamiento que les atormenta y aleja de la realidad, un ¿no me pasará algo? gobierna su día. Hacen de una segunda opinión su obsesión y acuden a urgencias buscando una respuesta que les de la razón para poder justificar la supuesta falta de atención de su médico de familia. Son capaces de cambiar el título de mi película y transformar el Centro de Urgencias en un «abierto 24 horas, no importa la hora ni el motivo, estamos para escucharles».

Recuerdo con nostalgia los guiones de consulta en atención primaria, como mis palabras atravesaban como balas sus argumentos, con negativas que parecían escritas en mi mesa como graffitis en un muro.

– No necesita más pruebas.

– No precisa interconsulta con otro especialista.

– No le puedo recetar más, ya se llevó su tratamiento crónico.

– No le prescribo antibióticos, es un cuadro viral.

– No le vuelvo a hacer recetas de medicamentos si los saca de la farmacia sin prescripción facultativa.

– No le puedo recetar como pensionista si no lo es.

– Y por supuesto, no insista, no le puedo hacer recetas para su perro.

Me doy cuenta que no se puede escapar de nuestros demonios y en urgencias me toca repetir alguna negativa, adaptando mi guion al contexto.

– Esto no es una urgencia.

– ¿Por qué no fue a su médico de familia?

– Si lo tiene desde hace meses, puede pedir cita en su centro de salud.

– No le puedo pinchar nada para quitarle un catarro.

– No puede venir en la madrugada a hacerse una cura porque no tuvo tiempo durante el día.

Pues definitivamente, a veces me toca ser el malo de la película, el que le dice a los pacientes lo que no quieren oír, aquel que crea unfollowers en twitter  y disminuye las listas de espera en consulta. Y lo reivindico porque quien quiera caer bien a todo el mundo mejor que se dedique a la política donde una sonrisa forzada y palabras escritas por un guionista en tercera persona son más valiosas que la verdad.

Sin lugar a dudas no es fácil interpretar este papel, lo sencillo es ceder en todo y despachar satisfecho al usuario, pero a veces me toca sacar mandíbula, teñirme el pelo y ser el Javier Bardem de 007.

Espero no terminar como él en la película, y poder seguir disfrutando de este cine.

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  192. I was curious if you ever thought of changing the structure of your website? Its very well written; I love what youve got to say. But maybe you could a little more in the way of content so people could connect with it better. Youve got an awful lot of text for only having 1 or 2 pictures. Maybe you could space it out better?

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  202. My coder is trying to convince me to move to .net from PHP. I have always disliked the idea because of the expenses. But he’s tryiong none the less. I’ve been using WordPress on several websites for about a year and am anxious about switching to another platform. I have heard very good things about blogengine.net. Is there a way I can import all my wordpress content into it? Any help would be really appreciated!

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  251. Hey there! I just wanted to ask if you ever have any trouble with hackers? My last blog (wordpress) was hacked and I ended up losing months of hard work due to no backup. Do you have any methods to stop hackers?

  252. I’m not sure exactly why but this weblog is loading incredibly slow for me. Is anyone else having this issue or is it a problem on my end? I’ll check back later and see if the problem still exists.

  253. I’m curious to find out what blog platform you’re utilizing? I’m having some minor security issues with my latest site and I would like to find something more safe. Do you have any solutions?

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  283. My programmer is trying to convince me to move to .net from PHP. I have always disliked the idea because of the expenses. But he’s tryiong none the less. I’ve been using WordPress on a number of websites for about a year and am worried about switching to another platform. I have heard great things about blogengine.net. Is there a way I can import all my wordpress content into it? Any help would be really appreciated!

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  291. Hey there! This is kind of off topic but I need some advice from an established blog. Is it very difficult to set up your own blog? I’m not very techincal but I can figure things out pretty fast. I’m thinking about making my own but I’m not sure where to begin. Do you have any tips or suggestions? Thank you

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  300. My programmer is trying to convince me to move to .net from PHP. I have always disliked the idea because of the expenses. But he’s tryiong none the less. I’ve been using Movable-type on a variety of websites for about a year and am nervous about switching to another platform. I have heard very good things about blogengine.net. Is there a way I can import all my wordpress posts into it? Any kind of help would be greatly appreciated!

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  320. Today, I went to the beach front with my children. I found a sea shell and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said «You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.» She put the shell to her ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear. She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is entirely off topic but I had to tell someone!

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  325. Hey this is kind of of off topic but I was wanting to know if blogs use WYSIWYG editors or if you have to manually code with HTML. I’m starting a blog soon but have no coding knowledge so I wanted to get guidance from someone with experience. Any help would be greatly appreciated!

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  834. My programmer is trying to convince me to move to .net from PHP. I have always disliked the idea because of the expenses. But he’s tryiong none the less. I’ve been using Movable-type on a number of websites for about a year and am worried about switching to another platform. I have heard very good things about blogengine.net. Is there a way I can transfer all my wordpress content into it? Any help would be really appreciated!

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  836. Hey there! Do you know if they make any plugins to safeguard against hackers? I’m kinda paranoid about losing everything I’ve worked hard on. Any tips?

  837. Howdy! I know this is kind of off topic but I was wondering if you knew where I could find a captcha plugin for my comment form? I’m using the same blog platform as yours and I’m having problems finding one? Thanks a lot!

  838. Hi there! Quick question that’s completely off topic. Do you know how to make your site mobile friendly? My weblog looks weird when browsing from my apple iphone. I’m trying to find a template or plugin that might be able to fix this issue. If you have any recommendations, please share. Thank you!

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  846. The other day, while I was at work, my sister stole my iPad and tested to see if it can survive a 30 foot drop, just so she can be a youtube sensation. My apple ipad is now broken and she has 83 views. I know this is entirely off topic but I had to share it with someone!

  847. Hi! This is kind of off topic but I need some advice from an established blog. Is it very hard to set up your own blog? I’m not very techincal but I can figure things out pretty quick. I’m thinking about creating my own but I’m not sure where to start. Do you have any tips or suggestions? Appreciate it

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  852. Yesterday, while I was at work, my sister stole my apple ipad and tested to see if it can survive a forty foot drop, just so she can be a youtube sensation. My apple ipad is now destroyed and she has 83 views. I know this is entirely off topic but I had to share it with someone!

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  859. I know this if off topic but I’m looking into starting my own weblog and was wondering what all is needed to get set up? I’m assuming having a blog like yours would cost a pretty penny? I’m not very internet smart so I’m not 100% sure. Any recommendations or advice would be greatly appreciated. Cheers

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  869. I know this if off topic but I’m looking into starting my own weblog and was curious what all is needed to get setup? I’m assuming having a blog like yours would cost a pretty penny? I’m not very web savvy so I’m not 100% certain. Any suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated. Kudos

  870. Yesterday, while I was at work, my sister stole my iphone and tested to see if it can survive a twenty five foot drop, just so she can be a youtube sensation. My apple ipad is now destroyed and she has 83 views. I know this is totally off topic but I had to share it with someone!

  871. Hey I know this is off topic but I was wondering if you knew of any widgets I could add to my blog that automatically tweet my newest twitter updates. I’ve been looking for a plug-in like this for quite some time and was hoping maybe you would have some experience with something like this. Please let me know if you run into anything. I truly enjoy reading your blog and I look forward to your new updates.

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