¡Qué médico más malo!

poli malo

A veces cuando llevo la placa de médico, como en las películas de Hollywood donde en los interrogatorios existe la figura del poli bueno y poli malo, a mi también me toca representar el papel de malo.

En ocasiones mi plató se llena de pacientes policonsultadores, de espíritu hipocondriaco, amantes de las cuatro paredes del consultorio, con un perenne pensamiento que les atormenta y aleja de la realidad, un ¿no me pasará algo? gobierna su día. Hacen de una segunda opinión su obsesión y acuden a urgencias buscando una respuesta que les de la razón para poder justificar la supuesta falta de atención de su médico de familia. Son capaces de cambiar el título de mi película y transformar el Centro de Urgencias en un «abierto 24 horas, no importa la hora ni el motivo, estamos para escucharles».

Recuerdo con nostalgia los guiones de consulta en atención primaria, como mis palabras atravesaban como balas sus argumentos, con negativas que parecían escritas en mi mesa como graffitis en un muro.

– No necesita más pruebas.

– No precisa interconsulta con otro especialista.

– No le puedo recetar más, ya se llevó su tratamiento crónico.

– No le prescribo antibióticos, es un cuadro viral.

– No le vuelvo a hacer recetas de medicamentos si los saca de la farmacia sin prescripción facultativa.

– No le puedo recetar como pensionista si no lo es.

– Y por supuesto, no insista, no le puedo hacer recetas para su perro.

Me doy cuenta que no se puede escapar de nuestros demonios y en urgencias me toca repetir alguna negativa, adaptando mi guion al contexto.

– Esto no es una urgencia.

– ¿Por qué no fue a su médico de familia?

– Si lo tiene desde hace meses, puede pedir cita en su centro de salud.

– No le puedo pinchar nada para quitarle un catarro.

– No puede venir en la madrugada a hacerse una cura porque no tuvo tiempo durante el día.

Pues definitivamente, a veces me toca ser el malo de la película, el que le dice a los pacientes lo que no quieren oír, aquel que crea unfollowers en twitter  y disminuye las listas de espera en consulta. Y lo reivindico porque quien quiera caer bien a todo el mundo mejor que se dedique a la política donde una sonrisa forzada y palabras escritas por un guionista en tercera persona son más valiosas que la verdad.

Sin lugar a dudas no es fácil interpretar este papel, lo sencillo es ceder en todo y despachar satisfecho al usuario, pero a veces me toca sacar mandíbula, teñirme el pelo y ser el Javier Bardem de 007.

Espero no terminar como él en la película, y poder seguir disfrutando de este cine.

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  143. Greetings! Quick question that’s completely off topic. Do you know how to make your site mobile friendly? My site looks weird when viewing from my apple iphone. I’m trying to find a theme or plugin that might be able to correct this problem. If you have any suggestions, please share. Thank you!

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  147. The other day, while I was at work, my cousin stole my iphone and tested to see if it can survive a thirty foot drop, just so she can be a youtube sensation. My apple ipad is now destroyed and she has 83 views. I know this is totally off topic but I had to share it with someone!

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  160. Today, I went to the beach with my children. I found a sea shell and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said «You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.» She put the shell to her ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear. She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is completely off topic but I had to tell someone!

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  174. Hmm is anyone else experiencing problems with the pictures on this blog loading? I’m trying to find out if its a problem on my end or if it’s the blog. Any feed-back would be greatly appreciated.

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  186. Hmm is anyone else encountering problems with the pictures on this blog loading? I’m trying to find out if its a problem on my end or if it’s the blog. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

  187. Hey I know this is off topic but I was wondering if you knew of any widgets I could add to my blog that automatically tweet my newest twitter updates. I’ve been looking for a plug-in like this for quite some time and was hoping maybe you would have some experience with something like this. Please let me know if you run into anything. I truly enjoy reading your blog and I look forward to your new updates.

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  201. When I initially commented I clicked the «Notify me when new comments are added» checkbox and now each time a comment is added I get three e-mails with the same comment. Is there any way you can remove people from that service? Many thanks!

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  217. Today, I went to the beach front with my children. I found a sea shell and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said «You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.» She put the shell to her ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear. She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is entirely off topic but I had to tell someone!

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  223. Hmm it seems like your site ate my first comment (it was super long) so I guess I’ll just sum it up what I submitted and say, I’m thoroughly enjoying your blog. I too am an aspiring blog writer but I’m still new to everything. Do you have any helpful hints for first-time blog writers? I’d definitely appreciate it.

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  226. When I originally commented I clicked the «Notify me when new comments are added» checkbox and now each time a comment is added I get four emails with the same comment. Is there any way you can remove people from that service? Cheers!

  227. Hi! Do you know if they make any plugins to protect against hackers? I’m kinda paranoid about losing everything I’ve worked hard on. Any recommendations?

  228. Hello! This is kind of off topic but I need some advice from an established blog. Is it tough to set up your own blog? I’m not very techincal but I can figure things out pretty quick. I’m thinking about creating my own but I’m not sure where to start. Do you have any ideas or suggestions? Cheers

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  232. Hmm is anyone else experiencing problems with the images on this blog loading? I’m trying to figure out if its a problem on my end or if it’s the blog. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

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  284. At this time it seems like Drupal is the top blogging platform out there right now. (from what I’ve read) Is that what you are using on your blog?

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  286. Have you ever considered creating an e-book or guest authoring on other websites? I have a blog based upon on the same subjects you discuss and would really like to have you share some stories/information. I know my audience would enjoy your work. If you’re even remotely interested, feel free to send me an e mail.

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  345. Today, I went to the beachfront with my children. I found a sea shell and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said «You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.» She placed the shell to her ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear. She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is entirely off topic but I had to tell someone!

  346. Hey I know this is off topic but I was wondering if you knew of any widgets I could add to my blog that automatically tweet my newest twitter updates. I’ve been looking for a plug-in like this for quite some time and was hoping maybe you would have some experience with something like this. Please let me know if you run into anything. I truly enjoy reading your blog and I look forward to your new updates.

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  357. Hey I know this is off topic but I was wondering if you knew of any widgets I could add to my blog that automatically tweet my newest twitter updates. I’ve been looking for a plug-in like this for quite some time and was hoping maybe you would have some experience with something like this. Please let me know if you run into anything. I truly enjoy reading your blog and I look forward to your new updates.

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  379. Hi there! Do you know if they make any plugins to assist with Search Engine Optimization? I’m trying to get my blog to rank for some targeted keywords but I’m not seeing very good results. If you know of any please share. Kudos!

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  426. With havin so much content do you ever run into any problems of plagorism or copyright violation? My website has a lot of unique content I’ve either authored myself or outsourced but it seems a lot of it is popping it up all over the web without my authorization. Do you know any ways to help reduce content from being ripped off? I’d certainly appreciate it.

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  428. With havin so much content do you ever run into any issues of plagorism or copyright infringement? My website has a lot of unique content I’ve either created myself or outsourced but it appears a lot of it is popping it up all over the internet without my authorization. Do you know any ways to help reduce content from being stolen? I’d truly appreciate it.

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  841. Have you ever thought about including a little bit more than just your articles? I mean, what you say is important and all. Nevertheless think of if you added some great photos or videos to give your posts more, «pop»! Your content is excellent but with images and video clips, this site could undeniably be one of the greatest in its niche. Very good blog!

  842. Hmm it looks like your website ate my first comment (it was super long) so I guess I’ll just sum it up what I wrote and say, I’m thoroughly enjoying your blog. I as well am an aspiring blog writer but I’m still new to everything. Do you have any recommendations for beginner blog writers? I’d really appreciate it.

  843. Hi! This is my 1st comment here so I just wanted to give a quick shout out and tell you I genuinely enjoy reading your articles. Can you recommend any other blogs/websites/forums that cover the same subjects? Thanks for your time!

  844. Please let me know if you’re looking for a writer for your site. You have some really great posts and I feel I would be a good asset. If you ever want to take some of the load off, I’d love to write some articles for your blog in exchange for a link back to mine. Please send me an email if interested. Thank you!

  845. Greetings! I know this is kinda off topic nevertheless I’d figured I’d ask. Would you be interested in exchanging links or maybe guest authoring a blog article or vice-versa? My website covers a lot of the same subjects as yours and I think we could greatly benefit from each other. If you’re interested feel free to shoot me an email. I look forward to hearing from you! Fantastic blog by the way!

  846. I am really loving the theme/design of your blog. Do you ever run into any web browser compatibility issues? A couple of my blog audience have complained about my website not operating correctly in Explorer but looks great in Safari. Do you have any ideas to help fix this problem?

  847. I love what you guys are up too. This kind of clever work and reporting! Keep up the terrific works guys I’ve added you guys to my blogroll.

  848. Have you ever considered publishing an ebook or guest authoring on other sites? I have a blog based upon on the same ideas you discuss and would love to have you share some stories/information. I know my viewers would enjoy your work. If you are even remotely interested, feel free to shoot me an e mail.

  849. Hey, I think your website might be having browser compatibility issues. When I look at your blog in Opera, it looks fine but when opening in Internet Explorer, it has some overlapping. I just wanted to give you a quick heads up! Other then that, wonderful blog!

  850. I absolutely love your blog and find almost all of your post’s to be just what I’m looking for. can you offer guest writers to write content for yourself? I wouldn’t mind creating a post or elaborating on some of the subjects you write with regards to here. Again, awesome web log!

  851. Hello! I know this is kinda off topic but I was wondering if you knew where I could find a captcha plugin for my comment form? I’m using the same blog platform as yours and I’m having problems finding one? Thanks a lot!

  852. I’m not sure exactly why but this web site is loading incredibly slow for me. Is anyone else having this problem or is it a problem on my end? I’ll check back later and see if the problem still exists.

  853. weblink dice:

    Hi! Quick question that’s entirely off topic. Do you know how to make your site mobile friendly? My site looks weird when viewing from my apple iphone. I’m trying to find a theme or plugin that might be able to fix this problem. If you have any suggestions, please share. With thanks!

  854. Today, I went to the beachfront with my kids. I found a sea shell and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said «You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.» She placed the shell to her ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear. She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is totally off topic but I had to tell someone!

  855. Hello there! Would you mind if I share your blog with my twitter group? There’s a lot of people that I think would really enjoy your content. Please let me know. Many thanks

  856. Greetings from Los angeles! I’m bored to tears at work so I decided to browse your website on my iphone during lunch break. I really like the information you present here and can’t wait to take a look when I get home. I’m shocked at how quick your blog loaded on my phone .. I’m not even using WIFI, just 3G .. Anyways, wonderful site!