Pacientes “macho man” en Urgencias

macho

Pero que valientes son todos los borrachos.
Pero que fuertes son todos cuando beben unas copas.
Esta noche, nos toca suturar de madrugada.
Es fuerte, un fan del gimnasio. Parece tronista de “mujeres, hombre y viceversa” y lo acompaña su adolescente novia.
Él entra medio obligado a la consulta, sus amigos lo escoltan.
Aparentemente no quiere que le curemos, dice que no tiene nada.
Sólo quiere llegar a su casa y coger una pistola para matar al que lastimó su orgullo.
“¡Cose! ¡venga!, y luego me voy a por la pistola” -repite una y otra vez.
Pero conforme ve el tamaño de la aguja, y le explicamos las heridas que presenta en cara y cuello, su hombría comienza a desinflarse, como cuando se le quita el aire a una colchoneta para niños.
Ahora quiere anestesia y exige no sentir nada. Llora y grita cada punto como si lo estuvieran torturando. La actuación de Silvester Stallone en Rambo se queda pequeña ante este brillante papel.
Con el paso del tiempo, se olvida de la pistola, de las balas y de la venganza, ya solo le interesa que terminemos la sutura y donde se debe curar mañana.
Las lágrimas caen sobre su mejilla y encuentra el consuelo en el hombro de su incrédula novia.
Mañana le dolerá un poco, y ya me imagino lo que gritará en la cura.
Que pena que el valor no se mida por el peso que eres capaz de levantar frente a un espejo.
Por suerte este será el último paciente de la noche, la fiesta ya acaba. Hasta la próxima “macho man”.
Mañana seré yo el que me tome una copa, pero en balón grande, con mucho hielo, en buena compañía, sin revolver, heridas ni pistolas.
Creo que me voy haciendo mayor.
Otra noche de insomnio, otro post Con Tinta de Médico.

J.M. Salas – Con Tinta de Médico – Diario de un Médico de Urgencias adicto a la noche.

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