Nosotros nos quejamos más

que malito

Después de estar durante años pasando consulta como médico de atención primaria, en mi experiencia los hombres cuando nos enfermamos nos quejamos más que las mujeres, pero mucho más.

En la última epidemia de Gripe atendí numerosos enfermos de género masculino que por sus quejas daban la impresión que se estuvieran muriendo, es curioso, casi siempre iban acompañados por su pareja. La mayoría con problemas respiratorios típicos de la estación en la que nos encontramos, con síntomas catarrales o gripales.

Cuando comienzo la anamnesis (entrevista clínica) a menudo este paciente tarda en responder o lo hace con la voz entrecortada buscando con la mirada el apoyo moral de su mujer, que suele contestar a mis preguntas y apostilla sus oraciones con la muletilla «si es que él se pone muy malo» pintada de resignación y esbozando una disimulada sonrisa.

Cuando le explico el carácter benigno del cuadro y su tratamiento sintomático suele mostrar su desacuerdo directamente con algún plus de efecto tusígeno que intenta conseguir que mis indicaciones terapeúticas vayan acorde con la percepción de gravedad de su patología.

A veces me pregunto si la historia no nos otorgó un papel que efectivamente no coincide con la realidad o que hubiera pasado si la desigualdad de género nunca hubiese existido y todos hubiésemos tenido las mismas oportunidades, ¿quién es el héroe? ¿el Príncipe o la Princesa?.

Gratamente, he visto que en los últimos años muchas de las películas de dibujos animados que ven mis hijos tienen protagonistas femeninos, y no precisamente encasillados en el papel de princesa encerrada en un castillo. Me alegro, son pequeños gestos que contribuyen a la igualdad de género.

Me da la impresión que los pacientes masculinos cuando enfermamos regresamos a la infancia y buscamos el cariño materno, que a veces proyectamos en nuestra pareja. Somos como niños con barba de tres días y el cuerpo un poco más rellenito.

Tal vez los virus conspiren de una forma diferente cuando somos nosotros los que nos contagiamos, y realmente su patogenicidad cambie cuando navega entre tanta testosterona (por cierto a mayor horas de gimnasio mayor sintomatología, conclusión envidiablemente sana). Realmente quién no se consuela es porque no quiere.

La naturaleza suele corregir las desigualdades tarde o temprano y castigar nuestra heroica e histórica masculinidad.

Pero que malitos nos ponemos, que malitos.

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