La silla del médico

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Las hay de muchos tamaños, modelos y colores, más o menos confortables, ergonómicas y «rompe espaldas», con y sin ruedas, con horrorosos cojines y atrevidas fundas, pero es un elemento imprescindible en toda consulta médica.
Pues bien, sospecho que estas sillas otorgan poderes especiales a quienes las ocupan.
En las consultas de Centros de Salud y Hospitales, hay Médicos que se transforman en verdaderos doctores magnetos, ¿la culpable?, por supuesto, la silla, que genera un campo magnético tan intenso que los atrapa a su asiento, como un imán al metal. Pasan toda la consulta sentados y desarrollan la increíble capacidad para explorar al paciente sin levantarse de la silla.
Otros adquieren el poder para teletransportarse y son capaces de salir a la puerta de la consulta con la silla pegada, sin poner los pies en el suelo, incluso se la llevan sin querer puesta a casa, cuando termina su jornada laboral (o tal vez un poquillo antes).
Esa silla del médico a veces produce una sensación de relax, cual sillón de las áreas de descanso en los centros comerciales, ya quisieran algunos hare chismas tener esa capacidad para relajarse. La sensación es tan fuerte que les impide atender sus obligaciones diarias. Son tan confortables que cuando un familiar llama a su médico de familia para que vaya a un domicilio y visite a un anciano con limitación a la deambulación, da igual el motivo que sea, esa comodidad intrínseca que desprende la silla les impide moverse, el estado de «que agustito estoy» es uno de los niveles más difíciles de alcanzar dentro del sistema sanitario, y con estas sillas se consigue.
Otros profesionales sanitarios, tal vez son tan desconfiados, que por miedo a perder su silla no salen de su consulta en toda su jornada.
En fin, por suerte hay tanta variedad de sillas como de profesionales, y aunque la mayoría cumple sus obligaciones, muchísimas veces desde el servicio de Urgencias 061 nos desplazamos a los domicilios para atender a pacientes que no se acuerdan ni de como se llama su médico de familia.
¡Malditas sillas!, ellas son las culpables, las odio.

{continuará en el libro Con Tinta de Médico, reflexiones de un Médico de Urgencias adicto a la noche}

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